How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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women's rights.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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I've got a dig bick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops