Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Click here to end the world.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops