how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops