Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Penis.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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A Dog walked into a bar and the bartenter said 'What can i get you' the dog dident say aneything cuz its a dog!!!!!

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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