A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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