When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Your face

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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