Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the guy die? because he got hit by a train. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -13

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops