What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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I wonder where the hell Hitler is

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops