Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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make me a sandwich!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops