What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

why did the man die? he had cancer

How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

Hi

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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