Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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I can count to potato.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Brain fart

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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