PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

But who would want to sell us out and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Major League Soccer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops