There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

Hi

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

Loner.

I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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