What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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96

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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