Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

thumb_up thumb_down +28

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +28

wanna hear a joke? yes

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +26

people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops