A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

A baby seal walks into a club.

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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