Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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