Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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