Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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a woman votes!

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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wanna here a good joke? me too.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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