How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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