What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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womens rights.

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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1

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops