What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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dick dick dick... frogs

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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Set up Punch line.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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