A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops