A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

What does two plus two equal? 4

What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

I forgot what i was gonna say

What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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