The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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