A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man U

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

VaginaBoob ^.^

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Church.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops