What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Minecraft.

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What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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dude ur such a bon of a sitch

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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