why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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you gay?

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops