Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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