Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

I just found out i have cancer.

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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