Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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once upon a time, it snowed

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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