Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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