How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops