What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Minecraft.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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