What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Happy Monday!

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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