Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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