A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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womens rights.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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