Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What's the deal with brown?

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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