How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

96

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down -12

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops