a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Justin Beiber

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops