Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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