Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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gay pom...

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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I was once a hamster.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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