Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

Where's my tractor?

what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

Roses are red.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

Why did the boy cry Because he fell

Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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