When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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knock knock come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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