Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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ur an fagit

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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