what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Michel Moor on a die...

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A Pakistani news reader.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Nick Cannon

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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