What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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