A man walks into a bar Ouch

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Hitler and Jews become friends.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Homonyms should be band.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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