Justin Bieber

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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anal seepage

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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Jerry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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Women's rights

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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Women's Rights

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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