What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

bronson watt walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops