What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Jerry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops